Joke - The stranded Irishman

The stranded Irishman


One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."

As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"

"Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.

He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway, "that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

He opened the flask and took a long drink. " 'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. " 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"

The preacher decided he was going to take the day off and play golf. He didn't want anyone to know what he was up to so he called the golf club in another town.

When he hit the ball off the first tee, the wind caught it and carried it 450 yards right into the hole. A 450 yard hole in one.

The angle ask God "why did you do that" God said "who is he going to tell"

Hey Blue and Red ... funny stuff!! Reminded me of Robin William's stand-up gig on golf. Thought I'd toss it out here (rated 'R' for language - but entertaining).

Blue, ...that gorgeous blonde must be this one....

I just got a call from that angel from my post above ^^ he said I didn't get his name right and sure thing I have it wrong
.. man ! when a angel calls the phone rings LOUD

Here's another joke for you: What's the worst thing about rising unemployment? It's harder to have sex with your girlfriend when her husband is home all the time.

Wahahaha.. Nice one! That is more like it!

One day Rubeagonya ask God. How long is a minute to you
God said a million years.

Rubeagonya ask, How much is one dollar to you
God said, a million.

After a long pause Rubeagonya said, God can I have a dollar
God said, in a minute ...